Arranged Marriages

The old school example of arranged marriage is how my parents met. My grandparents decided together that the match was "suitable" and it was a done deal. My parents met on their wedding day. Apparently, my dad somehow got a sneak peak of my mum before the wedding though and was satisfied ! My mum had no idea, she wasn't too impressed initially though when her dholi was an old bus :-)

Arranged marriages a generation later, different but still shrouded in the same old school mentality, a family friend of ours had a sudo-arranged marriage some 20 years ago, she had no choice in the matter, no contact with her future spouse although she did meet him a couple of times while other family members were present for a few minutes. She was just told when the wedding was and that she was very "lucky" getting such a "good" match.

Back in the day, my grandparents and that generation thought a "good" match was a male from a good family background with similar values and principles as them. How much land they owned in the homeland was also up on the wish list. In some ways its was easier back then, not having to worry about all the issues we face these days in finding a "suitable" match. Arranged marriages worked in the majority of cases and a couple "learned" to love one another after marriage. Even though my parents are complete opposites in nature and personality, they developed a mutual love and respect for one another that got them through some 40 years of matrimony.

What worked well back in the day doesn't work at all these days, maybe its greed, perverseness or sheer evil that stops families from blindly believing what was once assumed goodness in all.